We all know that The Oscars are coming our way this weekend but we’ve also got the annual alternative (or some would say antidote) in the form of The Razzies. Yep, it’s time to hand out the golden raspberries, a full 24 hours before The Academy of Motion Picture Farts and Scientologists’ 82nd Annual Giving Out of the Little Gold Naked Men (their words, not mine). This year marks the 30th anniversary of the ceremony which hands out awards to the very worst of Hollywood so they’ll also be handing out a few ‘worst of the decade’ awards while they’re at it. So without further ado, we take a look at this year’s nominees and make a few predictions.
Worst Picture: In the main category there are nominations for All About Steve, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, Land of the Lost, Old Dogs and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (or as the Razzies calls it, Trannies, Too). Now I can’t comment on Old Dogs, which stars Robin Williams and John Travolta, as it’s yet to be released in the UK, but the rest of the nominees are pretty much justified. Land of the Lost and G.I Joe are poor films, but not irredeemable leaving the other two to fight it out for the award. I honestly believe Transformers 2 was the worst of last year and should deservedly take the award, All About Steve was a laugh-less comedy though and could give it a run for it’s money.
Worst Director: The worst director nominees reflect the ones for worst picture with nominations for Phil Traill, Stephen Sommers, Brad Silberling, Walt Becker and Michael Bay, respectively. The latter should without question walk away with the award, not only is he the worst director on the list but possibly the worst the world has to offer. I would start to list the reasons why, but that’s a rant for another day.
Worst Actor: Steve Martin could be presenting the Oscars on Sunday with a Razzie in his hand as he has a nomination for his role in The Pink Panther 2. He’s up against Will Ferrell for Land of the Lost, Eddie Murphy for Imagine That (which wasn’t that bad and he actually wasn’t that bad in) and John Travolta for Old Dogs. The best nomination, and would be hilarious if they prevail, is for All Three Jonas Brothers for playing (or just being) themselves in Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience. That of course would be the first time the ceremony indicts people for being bad human beings, not just bad actors.
Worst Actress: The worst actress award really should be on it’s way to Megan Fox whose idea of acting is ‘looking fit and saying words’ in Trannies, Too. Also nominated are for Beyonce for Obsessed, Miley Cyrus for Hannah Montana: The Movie and Sarah Jessica Parker for Did You Hear About The Morgans? – all nominations which I can’t help but feel are harsh. Sandra Bullock though could have a Best Actress and Worst Actress award come the end of the week, and for that reason I think she’s a dead cert for the win.
Worst Supporting Actor: One can’t help but feel they’re just picking on poor old R-Patz with his nomination for New Moon, and maybe Billy Ray Cyrus is being punished more for what he represents than his performance in Hannah Montana. Also nominated are Marlon Wayans (a repeat Razzie offender) for G.I. Joe, Jorma Taccone for that little hairy thing in Land of the Lost and Hugh Heffner for his cameo in Miss March. Here’s hoping they don’t just give it to Heffner but rather beat him over the head with it until he agrees to keep out of our movies and stop selling us his putrid sex brand.
Worst Supporting Actress: This seems to be a bit of a damp squib of a category with none of the nominees jumping to mind as being truly abysmal last year. Nominated are Candice Bergen for Bride Wars, Ali Larter for Obsessed, Sienna Miller for G.I. Joe, Kelly Preston for Old Dogs and Julie White for Trannies, Too. I think Ali Larter may be the worst from this list but Sienna Miller is also an awful actress so she may have a shout. It’s likely to go to Julie White though as the Razzies like to give multiple awards to films.
There are also awards to be given out for Worst Screen Couple, Worst Remake, Rip-off or Sequel and Worst Screenplay – all nominees in these categories already have nominations in the aforementioned categories. Then there’s the worst of the decade awards for film, actor and actress which are a veritable who’s who of bad film over the past decade. You can view the nominations in full at http://www.razzies.com/history/30thNoms.asp and catch up with the winners in full when you awake on Sunday morning.
